10 Don’ts for S in Kink Relationships, Keep Your M/Sub Safe and Happy
In a kink relationship, the bond between S and M/Sub isn’t just about power exchange or roleplay. It’s deeper than that—it’s built on trust, responsibility, and genuine emotional connection. This kind of relationship is way more complicated than the simple “dominate and obey” image. It takes high emotional intelligence, solid communication, and consistent responsibility from both sides.
The ten “don’ts” below aren’t just rules for S/masters—they’re there to protect the M/Sub’s heart, which is often sensitive, soft, and honestly giving.
Rule #1: No Ghosting
Don’t disappear for no reason.
For an M/Sub, their master is the center of their world. Even a delayed message can trigger anxiety or self-doubt. Vanishing without a word—even for just a few hours—hits their emotions hard. A kink relationship isn’t “do what makes you happy,” it’s “we care about each other.” Checking in isn’t a burden—it’s taking responsibility.
Rule #2: No Sneaky Stuff
Honesty is table stakes.
Hiding the relationship or refusing to acknowledge your partner makes M/Sub feel unsafe. Love doesn’t have to be loud, but at least be open about it. If you can’t even own your choice, how can you give them confidence and a sense of belonging?
Rule #3: No Silent Treatment
Cold shoulder is cruel.
Everyone makes mistakes, M/Sub included. But if an issue pops up and S goes silent, distant, or ignores instead of communicating, guiding, or disciplining appropriately, it leaves the M/Sub feeling abandoned. Cold treatment isn’t punishment—it’s hurt, pure and simple. How you handle conflicts shows your level as an S and your sense of responsibility.
Rule #4: No Flirting Around
Loyalty is trust’s foundation.
M/Sub gives their body and mind to S, and that trust isn’t easy to earn. If S gets cozy with others, or secretly adds new subs while already in a relationship, even emotionally, it’s a huge betrayal. Multiple relationships aren’t inherently bad, but they must be fully transparent and consensual.
Rule #5: No Selfishness
Kink is a partnership.
Being on top doesn’t mean you get to do whatever you want. A mature kink relationship balances both people’s needs, likes, and boundaries. If you only care about your own pleasure and ignore your partner’s feelings, you’re not looking for an M/Sub—you’re looking for a toy. That’s not what kink is about.
Rule #6: No Giving Up Halfway
Taking on an M/Sub is a long-term commitment.
Early on, things may be sweet and easy. But all close relationships face bumps and conflicts. A responsible S learns, adjusts, and grows. Don’t bail just because it gets tough—that cycle of “start—quit—start again” will kill trust and passion.
Rule #7: No Betrayal
Even “white lies” tear trust apart.
M/Sub depends heavily on feeling safe. One lie can undo all the trust built up. S shouldn’t “protect” their sub with lies—they should build a steady foundation with honesty. Bitter truth is better than sweet deceit.
Rule #8: No Nitpicking
Acceptance is love’s starting point.
Don’t constantly compare your M/Sub to others, or pick on little details. Every M/Sub is unique, and giving up control takes courage. Constant criticism crushes confidence and undermines the relationship’s foundation.
Rule #9: No Waffling
Gentle isn’t weak—having a stance matters.
Being an S doesn’t mean being harsh, but you can’t be indecisive. A hesitant, go-with-the-flow S leaves M/Sub feeling lost and questioning your judgment. On important principles, you need to be firm. Even softly, you must show boundaries and your position.
Rule #10: No Arrogance
Kink isn’t about ranking—it’s about roles fitting together.
A truly trustworthy S never treats “power” as a bragging tool. They show emotion, apologize when needed, and express tenderness and respect in intimacy. High-handedness isn’t authority—it’s cold distance. An S willing to bend a little is far more touching than one who stands tall and rigid.
Final Thoughts
Kink isn’t a game, and it’s not just about fun toys. It’s a deep psychological and emotional connection. S and M/Sub build a bond tighter and more trusting than most normal relationships. Stick to these ten rules, and you’re on the right path to a mature, fulfilling kink connection.
Kink isn’t some romantic fantasy—it’s real, steady, and full of care.